Ground Rules For Healthy Homes Part 1

Understanding How To Create A Healthy Home For Our Family

Tim Lundy
Jun 3, 2019    41m
We might not necessarily always think of how the Ten Commandments can be applied in our homes. But they create ground rules that make all the difference. In part one of this message, we will learn how applying the Ten Commandments can fundamentally change our family and our lives for the better. Video recorded at Los Gatos, California.

messageRegarding Grammar:

This is a transcription of the sermon. People speak differently than they write, and there are common colloquialisms in this transcript that sound good when spoken, and look like bad grammar when written.

Tim Lundy (00:00):
I hope everyone is doing well today and hope that you're having a great weekend as summer has officially kicked off. The heat certainly has come with it, but we're in a kind of a transition series. As we finished last week, the series where we looked at No Perfect Families, looking at all the different ways and roles that we function in a family, recognizing none of us are perfect in it and also recognizing that God's Word speaks to it. And starting in July, over the month of July, we got a really special treat. Chip Ingram is going to come and preach the month of July a series, Overcoming Emotions that Destroy. And so for those who've been a part of the Venture family, you know well Chip's teaching. And if you're new to Venture, it'll be a great series for you as he addresses emotions, how we deal with them, especially ones that can become toxic, ones that can really destroy a person's life or destroy their household. And so while we've been in this series looking at No Perfect Family, moving toward emotions that destroy, I wanted to take a couple of weeks and think a little bit proactively. In fact, in these two weeks, if you see in your notes, I've entitled this series Ground Rules for Healthy Homes.

Tim Lundy (01:19):
How do we establish within our household, if we're not a perfect family, how do you establish some of the ground rules that would impact every home no matter what your home looks like, no matter the size of your family, whether you live alone, whether you're a large family, whether you're a blended family, whether you're a divorced family, no matter what you're facing. What are some of the rules that if you put them in place, they would bring strength and health to your home? Now, even as I say that, it's interesting. Some have a mentality of I don't like rules. Oh, he's going to lay us down with a bunch of rules. And we immediately go negative with it. Here's the reality. We all love rules in the right context. If I told you on the way home, no one was going to follow the stoplights anymore, people could drive whatever side of the road they wanted, you'd be panicked in it. We love the rules of the road because they bring some stability there. I remember when my children were especially little, they would always want to play games with me and they'd make them up as they went. And I noticed the rules would always change as they went in favor of them.

Tim Lundy (02:28):
And in some way, you'd just get so frustrated, you'd just go, I don't want to play this anymore. I don't want to do this anymore. You know, the same is true in a household. When you're trying to do life, when you're trying to be a family and it feels like are the rules changing all the time? When you see a household that just didn't have some basic ground rules. As I look at these ground rules, I could pick a bunch out of the air. I'm actually going to go with 10 that are pretty universal. We don't always think about them in the household, but I promise you they would fundamentally change your household if they were applied across the board.

Tim Lundy (03:07):
If you've got a Bible, you can turn to Exodus 20. We'll look at the passages in the screen. These rules are better known as the 10 Commandments. Now we often think of the 10 Commandments of Charlton Heston coming down off the mountain, and he's got the tablets in hand. And the thou shalt not and all with it. I would tell you, as I studied these, as I looked through these, if we actually applied them, they'd be some of the most life-giving just ground rules that would change the culture of your home. And when you change the culture, it changes everything.

Tim Lundy (03:44):
Let's look through these together. And as we do, you notice in your notes, I want to give you just a little bit of context because we don't approach the 10 Commandments like the people of Israel did. In fact, the whole law for them was not only their way of worship. It was not only their way of spiritually relating to God. It also covered their government. It covered their ceremonial law and all the different parts. And so I don't want to go back to the 10 Commandments and we're living under these commandments so that we can be right with God. As followers of Christ who've experienced Jesus, we look back on it now because we're right with God through Christ, we can learn about God's character in them. And if you remember in the New Testament, when Jesus was asked about the law, remember how he said you could summarize all the law? He said you can summarize with two.

Tim Lundy (04:36):
One, love the Lord, your God with all your heart and love your neighbor as yourself. So as we dive into these 10, here's what you'll find. First half of the commandments teach us how to love God well. Second half teach us how to love each other well. And if you apply those two things in a household, it literally gives you the framework how do we do this well in our house? How do I do this as a person? Then I don't just love God in sentiment only. I actually love him as He's defined it. I don't just love other people according to emotion. I love them as God tells me how to love them better. So as we look at this, look at the first command. And again, I'm applying all these to a household particularly. First command is only God gets to be God. If we stopped now, you wrote this down and actually went home and this governed your household, you'd be amazed how it changes everything. When in a house, no matter how it's structured, no matter how many people are there, only God actually gets to be God in the house.

Tim Lundy (05:50):
Now look how God puts it in Exodus 20. He says, I am the Lord, your God. And He's writing to the children of Israel. Who brought you out of the land of Egypt, out of the house of slavery. You shall have no other gods before me. Now this context is really important because notice why He's putting this. He says, I am the one who rescued you. I am the one who saved you. Now salvation for us in the New Testament looks a little bit different. Our salvation wasn't that He took us out of Egypt. Our salvation, we point to the cross. But He is still the same savior for both people, and the same truth is true for us. He's the God who saved us. He's the only one who is God. And I would say this, who gets to be God. Now here's what I mean in that when do you apply it within a household. The man of the family, the husband, the father, he doesn't get to be God. He doesn't get to come home and say, well, I'm the man here. My word goes. He doesn't get to say I'm the king of this castle. We kind of like saying that a little bit. I'm the king of this castle. No, actually God looks at it and goes, actually I'm the only king. I'm the only God.

Tim Lundy (07:17):
And so as a man or as a husband or as a father, I then have to come into the household. And as I'm looking at my role in that household, I have to define it as God defines it, not the way I like to define it, not what I just would naturally want to do. See, because God's God. I'm not. And so I lead as he's defined leadership. I step forward the way He defines it in His Word. Secondly, mom doesn't get to be God. Mom of the household is not God. Even though she's there and it's her house and she's working in it all the time and she probably gives more to it than anyone else, guess what? That still doesn't earn her the right to be God. You ever heard the phrase, if mama ain't happy, ain't nobody happy? Now we kind of laugh at that, but there's a part of it, I kind of want to go, well, mama, why aren't you happy? Are you kind of using your emotions passively aggressively to get everybody to do what you want to do? Ooh. Some of you are really shaking your head yes on that one. Be careful.

Tim Lundy (08:40):
Because it's easy in that role without thinking about it, we go, well, I get to control everything here. Actually, you don't. And so whether you're a wife, whether you're a mom, whether you're a single adult, that role is defined that only God gets to be God. Now here's the one I see impact in the culture as much as anything today. The children are not the God's of the house. The children don't get to be God. And everything's not about them. And every decision isn't just the children. Family, the idea of family becomes a God and we can reach a point that, well, I can't do that because the children or people don't want to make the children angry or people don't want to upset the children or this might disappoint the children. Now again, we don't want to be people who go out of our way to make life miserable for our children at times. But it's real easy, I'm just going to warn you, especially if you're a young parent, you know, you have that baby. And it is the closest thing to idolatry I've ever experienced in my life because you look at them, you go, I just didn't know I could love something this much. And they're demanding right out of the gate. And you do have to orient your life to just sustain them, especially in those early years with it.

Tim Lundy (10:09):
But it can continue on with the pattern. And I've just seen this where the kids really are the God of the house. And every activity is based on, well, what are we going to do for the kids first? And every decision it's through the grid of the kids first. And when the hard stuff of life comes, I'm going to just tell you, if you follow God long, He'll ask you to do things that are hard on your kids too. And you'll see people come to that place, that crossroad of go, will I really step out and obey God, oh man, even at the expense of what my kids like or want? Kids will want to assume that role. It's a terrible position to put them in though. Because once they're there, they don't know what to do with it. Only God gets to be God. So here I would just ask you as you think about your household, when you look at your house, is God really God? When you make a decision, do you ask yourself, what does God think about this? When you come together as a family and you've got to move into something, does what God defines it, ow God says it, is it the governing principle? Is He really in charge or not? And all of these ground rules, they're so simple in one way. It's really easy to check it off and go, oh yeah, of course, God is my God. Is He really though? Does He operate in your home as God?

Tim Lundy (11:41):
Now to check it, God gives us a second one. No idols. Look at the second command. No idols. Make God the center of your home. This is how you can find out if God is really God. Is he really the center? There's no idols that are here. Look how he puts it in Exodus 20 verses 4 through 6. You shall not make for yourself a carved image or any likeness of anything that is in Heaven above or that is in the earth beneath or that is in the water under the earth. You shall not bow down to them or serve them for I, the Lord, your God am a jealous God, visiting the iniquity of the fathers on children to the third and fourth generation to those who hate me, but showing steadfast love to thousands of those who love me and keep my commandment. So at the core of it, He's warning them now in their culture, this is what they were prone to do. They would make an idol that was representative of something that they would see in creation, an idol that they could look at, that they could worship. In fact, remember when Moses comes down off of Mount Sinai after even receiving these commandments, what does he find the people doing when he comes down first time? They've already made an idol, a golden calf that they're dancing around.

Tim Lundy (12:59):
Now there's part of it, we look at it and they seem so primitive in ways. I mean it's so primitive that they got these little statues or these little idols. I would remind you if you travel the planet, you'll see a lot of idols. In Western culture and in our countries, we're less prone to actually carve our idols. That doesn't mean we don't have them though. Especially if you research and look what the idols were connected to, it wasn't that they were so caught up in the images. It was what the image or the god represented for them. If you look at the idols that the children of Israel at this time would have struggled with, almost all of them were connected to one of these subjects. They were either an idol related to the economy or money. So money would be at the core of why they were worshiping. Many of them around sex. There's a lot, sex itself was worshiped in the form of that. Power. If you want it to be powerful, many of the gods related to that. Attraction, popularity, ways that through that worship, you would be more popular in it. Mystical experiences. You just want to experience something through that. Happiness, joy, worship that went with it. Some of them related to getting a spouse or having a family in it.

Tim Lundy (14:25):
As you start going down the line and looking at the topics, you realize they're not as primitive as we make them out to be. And we might not be as removed from idols as we think. So again, go back to your home. Are there any idols that you've placed in the center of it? And here's what I mean. Does anything take the center of your affections, the center of your thoughts, the center of solutions? You ever find yourself daydreaming that you go, man, if I only had X and whatever you put in X, man, my life would be great? Now I think for our culture especially here, it's easy for us. If I only had more money. Man, if I just had more money. You ever done the daydream thing? Sometimes I'll be driving and the billboards doing the, you know, it's hit a billion dollars on the lottery or $500 million. You ever done that where you drive and you go, what could I do with that? And it's amazing how generous I am when it's not really my money. It's just the fake money. because I'm giving away hundreds of millions when it's not real with it. But I'll notice as a daydream like that, it's easy to suddenly go, man, if I only have that, that would solve so much.

Tim Lundy (15:36):
And I noticed in that moment, you know what I'm doing? I'm telling myself, oh, that would solve my problems more than God would. Or this relationship would solve my problems. Or anything you place in there, that it becomes the center of it can become an idol of the heart. And idols of the heart become the idols of the household. The things that we long for, we're passing on whether we realize it. Our kids pick up on it. They see how we talk and we think. And you look at a household that's governed by it. It was interesting, I was reading there's a Yale scholar, Simon May has done a history. And he describes one of the idols of our time is the concept of love, love itself in our culture in it. He's got one chapter in his book, Love: A History is entitled, Love Plays God. He writes human love is now tasked with achieving what once only divine love was thought capable of, to be our ultimate source of meaning and happiness.

Tim Lundy (16:47):
He says, we have switched God is love to love is God. And you do think about it as you read it. In our culture today, love is presented as this thing, it's just going to fix all if we just have it. Here's how he describes it. He says human love is a universal form of salvation available to all of us. We don't need long and disciplined training to learn how to love because most of us can just love spontaneously and without effort. Human love is always benevolent and harmonious, a haven of peace. Human love transports us beyond the messy imperfections of the everyday world into a superior state of purity of perfection. Human love delivers us from all life's losses and sufferings. May writes, these sort of ideas saturate all the popular culture to its immense cost. Human love has usurped a role that only God's love used to play.

Tim Lundy (17:46):
See, that's the problem with any idol, anything that you place in the center, even good things. If you place money in the center, Jesus said, you really can't serve both of them. And at one point, love here is going to usurp your love for God. You place a marriage in the center of it. You know what happens? This marriage that you're looking to fulfill you, you start resenting because no human being can be in your life when only God is. And it's actually counter what you're trying to produce. You place your home or your family, any of the good things that take the center of our life, you place your security, you place your health. You know, God is interesting. If you are His child and His follower, He's got a curriculum in life that forces us to identify those items, forces us to identify those places where something else has taken the center of our hearts and ultimately, the center of our homes. And out of His goodness in that exposure, instead of just condemning us for that, He comes and He draws us back to Himself. Now that's a scary process when He does it. Because if something has become the center, you're probably holding onto it pretty tight. And it's in that place where He says, do you trust Me enough that I am enough? And you'll let go. I promise where you do that, it changes your home. It just brings a health there that nothing else can bring. But it's a hard process.

Tim Lundy (19:35):
Look at the third rule. Here's the outworking of it then. It's the way you talk about Him. Respect God and the way you talk about Him. Respect Him and what comes out of your mouth. Look how He puts it in Exodus. You shall not take the name of the Lord, your God in vain for the Lord will not hold him guiltless who takes His name in vain. That's pretty strong. He says, don't take God's name in vain. Now what this is describing here is not just cussing. You know, when I was growing up, especially when I was in college, I worked my way through college on a construction job site. I learned many, many colorful words. My vocabulary, I wish I could say it expanded. It actually reduced because you end up with just a few words that become an adjective for everything. And this is crude language. It's not really what this verse is talking about here. Now, Scripture tells us you don't want that kind of unwholesome talk coming out of your mouth. And I have to guard that. I mean after that implanted. In fact, when I first started in ministry and I first started preaching, I always had this horrible fear that right in the middle of the sermon I was to slip up and just really let loose with something. And I really did. I was like, man, I have got to clean up with that. There's a part of it, you don't want unwholesome talk. This is talking about though specifically how you talk about God. How do you talk about His name? Because the name is more than just the name of reference.

Tim Lundy (21:08):
It represents their character. Do you throw God's name around very easily? One way of taking His name in vain is when you ascribe to God things that God never said or He doesn't approve of. It's interesting. Sometimes in the political battles, how many people quickly will grab on God and say, God approves of our party. And you need to look at that and go, whoa, wait a second. Am I taking His name in vain there? Am I just speaking in something that I want Him to be? People in our culture will take His name in vain all the time. They literally will ascribe well, this is what God thinks. And I look at that and I go, you better be careful saying that. Does that really match what God said? What He told us He thinks? We have that. And so anytime you ascribe something to God, you always want to reference, is that what God really said about Himself?

Tim Lundy (21:59):
Or is that just what I want Him to say? You don't throw it lightly. It also speaks to just the respect of how you talk about Him. One of the things I'm not real [inaudible] about just cuss language. I don't like it a lot. But I'm telling you, it's like nails on a chalkboard when people use God's name and Jesus' name in a way that you go, man, don't talk that way. Why would you use His name like that? And I think all of us, you have to watch in that. The Hebrews wouldn't even say the name Yahweh out loud. That's how much they reverenced him. And we're a much more casual people and part of it is God's invited us in with so much intimacy. But let's not confuse intimacy with a lack of respect and forget who He is. I would just encourage you, if you use God's name in it, I just put it this way, how would you like it if somebody used your name that way? I mean how would like it if we just grabbed a, let's say I took the name Chip Ingram and it became my new way of cussing. So I hit my hand with a hammer and I go, Chip Ingram! Walk in and go, what the Chip's going on in here? You surprise me, I go, oh my Chip. And I'm texting it, OMC, emoji.

Tim Lundy (23:28):
Now you think maybe Chip might pull me aside at some point and go, dude, whoa, what's going on with that? Which will probably happen after the sermon. But I mean if at some point, you would say why are you using my name like that? And if I looked at him and go, oh, it's not really you I'm talking about. I don't really mean any disrespect to you. You know, you'd probably walk away from it and go, I don't really like that. I don't think you're representing me well. So part of it in our households, if God's really God, then He gets to be God there. And we've looked at our hearts and we go, you know what? We want to make the center of our worship and who we are in our lives about Him. We don't need any other idols in our household. And when we talk about God, it's actually going to be accurate to who He is and it's going to be respectful to who He is because we are representing Him to the rest of the world. Man, if we don't reverence Him and we don't show that kind of respect, how are they ever going to catch on to how awesome He is?

Tim Lundy (24:57):
Come out of that with the fourth one. The fourth one, He says set aside one day a week to renew spiritually and physically. Set aside one day a week to renew spiritually and physically. And this command, this command is a little difficult. In some ways, all of the 10 Commandments, nine of them are repeated in the New Testament, just straight there. So it's not like these are these Old Testament laws that are so foreign to it. They're in the New Testament. Except this command. The Sabbath command is not repeated, but the principles behind it are true. Let's look at the Scripture around it first. He says, remember the Sabbath day, to keep it holy. Six days you shall labor and do all your work. But on the seventh day is a Sabbath to the Lord, your God. On it you shall not do any work, you or your son or your daughter or your servant or your female servant, your livestock. He's talking about everybody in your whole, your household. Or the sojourner, even the guest within your gates. Why? For in six days, and this is why it's important. He's going back to creation. Six days God made the Heaven and the earth, the sea and all that's in them. And He rested on the seventh day. Therefore, the Lord blessed the Sabbath day and made it Holy.

Tim Lundy (26:08):
Now, again, when He repeats these in Deuteronomy, the interesting thing about the 10 Commandments, He gave them to the children of Israel as they came out of slavery. He also repeated them before they went into the land of promise after 40 years. Look how he puts it in Deuteronomy in the next passage. Remember that you were a slave in the land of Egypt. The Lord your God brought you out from there with a mighty hand and an outstretched arm. Therefore, the Lord your God commanded you to keep the Sabbath day. So part of it is related to the creational order, the six and one cycle. Part of it is related because of what God's done. He's freed us. We're not slaves within that. But as those who are not slaves, He says respecting that six in one cycle, there's a day of rest and refreshment and worship and focus in it.

Tim Lundy (26:54):
Now the problem with it within the Jewish system, they created so many rules about Sabbath. They got so caught up in what was keeping the Sabbath and what wasn't that Jesus was accused all the time of violating the Sabbath. He gives great perspective. Look how He puts it in the next passage. He said to them, the Sabbath was made for man, not the man for the Sabbath. God gave it for us. He gave it because we needed it, not the other way round. He just is trying to lord over it. So the son of man is Lord even of the Sabbath. And Paul points out as well, we don't have to worry about figuring out which day of the week anymore. Some people celebrate it on Saturday. Some people do it on Sunday. Look what Paul says in Colossians in that. Therefore, let no one pass judgment on you on the questions of food and drink with regard to festival or new moon or a Sabbath. These are a shadow of things to come, but the substance belongs to Christ.

Tim Lundy (27:49):
Now, I give you that quick overview because we don't want to get so caught in. Some people, if you know someone, they're seventh day Adventist, some still say, man, you can only worship on Saturday. Some mark off with almost the same rules about Sunday with that. Here's the core principle. God wove it into the universe. There really is a six and one cycle that do you set aside the time once a week a day to renew, to refresh, to reorient your heart. I think it is good that your Sabbath day is also your worship date. Doesn't always work out that way, especially if you work in a church. But to have that time where you stop and even coming here in worship, why do we come here and sing out loud and do this? Because one, God's worthy of the praise. But do you notice what it always does when you do this once a week, when you spend that time in it? That corporately it reorients our hearts to the fact, oh, He's God and He's worthy of everything we're singing about Him and what we're saying and what we're doing.

Tim Lundy (29:00):
You have that one day a week where you stop and it forces you, and this is where, and I'll just go and confess on this one. This is probably the hardest one of all these for me to live out, especially here where we have Saturday church and Sunday church and that, of finding that Sabbath time, of finding that time where you mark it out. Now, I would love to say it's just because of so busy and all those things. Really it's an issue of the heart because if we don't stop and take the time, what we're saying is God, I'm so important that even though you did six in one, I can't afford to. I'm a little more important than you. You know what we're saying in that moment? I'm really God and you are not. Uh-oh, I just violated the first one, didn't I? Or I'm saying in that moment, oh, I'd love to. But God, you got to understand, I mean I've got to work, I've got to do this. Oh wait, is something taken the center of my worship more than God? You see how all these things are built together?

Tim Lundy (30:04):
And this is one of the most practical ways of just stopping and recognizing do we take the time as a family to renew and refresh? Do we take the time personally to just go, I'm not going to be in charge of everything today. The world's not about to fall off its axis. Because guess what? God's God and I'm not. And I'm actually gonna let Him be God on a regular basis and take Sabbath in that and learn how to do that as a family. Guys, this is one of the things that has been most missing in our culture. It was interesting, I was reading the Wall Street Journal, did a report a few years ago. This was just three years ago. And it said in 1979, the average worker put in 1,687 hours a year. That was in '79. The latest study is now a worker puts in at least 1,868 hours. It went up by 181 hours. Do you realize that's a month's work of work in a year that we're doing now more? That 50% of households feel this all the time, that pressure around a work life balance in it. And I think if we're honest, a core part of it really comes down to what are we pursuing? Do we let God be God? Do we trust Him enough to believe that this renewal and refreshment and actual rest, one, makes us more productive in the time that He has called us to, but two, and I think this one's even more important, reorients us to the fact, oh, he's God and I'm going to rest in Him.

Tim Lundy (32:04):
It makes life better. You know, it's the analogy. If you ever, you know, when you're driving your car, I don't know how, but the air in your tires, they start leaking somehow. Don't they? I mean if you don't check the air pretty often, the tires get lower and you actually lose fuel economy because it's harder. It's harder for the car to go. You feel it that much more. Have you ever ridden a bicycle where the air in the tire is low? It is a lot of work. And then you pump it up and you go, oh, this is what it was supposed to be like. Guys, God didn't give the Sabbath rules and all these ground rules because He's trying to make life harder. He wove them in because He actually knows us and He loves us. And He knows if we don't have this consistent cycle of refreshment, just the normal stuff of life starts getting harder and harder. And the energy that you want to have in all these areas, you don't have. Why He created a ground rule.

Tim Lundy (33:14):
Let me give you the last one, the fifth one. And here we made the turn. All four of those are teaching us how to love God more here. He makes the turn. How do we start loving each other more? And He says, well, let's start with the primary relationship that's in your household. Rule number five, respect the God-given authority of father and mother. Respect the God-given authority of father and mother. Look how He puts it in Exodus. Honor your father and mother, that your days may be long in the land, that the Lord your God is giving you. He says, honor. This word literally means weight. To be weighty. So He says, you give weight to the role that God's given them. You give a respect and a weight with it. Now, notice in this, He says father and mother. So He hasn't made a distinction, oh, he's more important than she is. Or she's more important than he is. He goes, oh no, this is a joint partnership they have here. And you will respect both of them.

Tim Lundy (34:20):
Now again, lest you think this is just one of those Old Testament commands, Paul repeats it in Ephesians. Look in at Ephesians as Paul writes about it. Children obey your parents in the Lord for this is right. Honor your father and mother. This is the first command with the promise. That it may go well with you and you may live long in the land. So he says, there's actually promise connected to this one. Now notice what Paul did here. Honor your father and mother's real easy to go, oh yes, honor father and mother and give weight to them. Okay. How do you know if you're honoring your father and your mother? Oh, let's start with the first line. Children obey your parents. So if you're not listening to them, don't act like you're honoring them. There's a link that goes with this and it's critical within a household. It's critical because, and this is where I would just challenge you if you're a parent, calling our children to this, doing the hard work of it. Sometimes it's more work out of us to really engender this kind of attitude and respect. And it's easy as a parent, I'm just going to let it slide. Here's the problem. Remember, we're making the turn. First, we've been loving God. Now we're trying to teach our kids how do you love each other? How do you operate in this world?

Tim Lundy (35:40):
And you're the first form of authority in their lives. And so learning to respect you, learning to obey you, it teaches them one how to learn, to respect and obey God. It also sets them up for all the other authorities that will come in their life. makes such a difference in that. Now, maybe you're here and you're like me. You go, well, okay, I'm out of the household. Now that that continues in a lifetime. There's a key part of respecting your parents and honoring your parents. And for those of us that are in what they call the sandwich generation, some of us are raising our kids and we're having to take care of our parents too. I'm in that. I mean we were taking care of my mom before we came here. She lives with my brother now. We help support that financially. But part of that is just living out this command. It's what God's called us to do. You take care of your parents. That's part of our culture. We live in such an individualistic culture, it's easy to pull back from that. Scripture hasn't called us from that. You may be asking, okay, Tim, what do I do though if my parents have squandered that honor? They hurt me. They wounded me. They did things in my life that in some cases, they're still unresolved.

Tim Lundy (37:05):
There's a place to have healthy boundaries and you might have to work through healthy forms of forgiveness while still keeping distance. The Scripture is not calling you in honoring to step back into a toxic situation where you're forced to be under that abuse. And I've heard that talk that way. And they just go, that is not what God's using. These rules were not put on us to abuse us but to bring life. But I would encourage you and I think this is just a healthy check for all of us, do I continue to keep an attitude that I'm giving weight and respect to mom and dad no matter their age or even their memory or even fostering that in a household? So let's just stop right there. Stop at this point. And I just want you to do a kind of a quick checkup about your household, about your family. And when I talk about your household, you may be a single adult who lives alone. Great. You get to shape the culture of that household more than anybody else, but you're still called to live under this. You may be coming out of a broken household. You may be coming out of an empty nest right now that you look up and you go, kids are gone. All these things shape your life and they never end.

Tim Lundy (38:26):
So let's just do a quick check as we stop at the mid-point here. As you look at your life and you look at your house, is God really God there? Is He the only one who's God? Is that really clear in your household? Second one, is He the center of your thoughts, in your worship, in your heart? Or something else competing for that place? Third, how do you talk about Him? How has He talked about it in the house? Is He ever even talked about in the house? That's a form of not honoring Him as well. Four, do you carve out time to refresh and renew? Do you have a Sabbath? Do you take one time a week where you stop and you go, I'm going to let God be God and realize I'm fine because I'm not God? I need this rest and I reorient my heart toward Him. And then fifth, do you honor father and mother? Is that role of authority honored in the household and upheld? Now, again, I don't say these things because God's using them to press us down.

Tim Lundy (39:51):
He's giving them to build life. And all of them force us to recognize how much we need Him and how much health there can be. This week we looked at these five and four of them really were vertically directed toward God. Next week, it gets real practical, real practical of specific ways that God's calling us to love each other well. And even though they're the kind of commands, thou shalt not kill, you think, okay, how does that apply to my household? Trust me, it applies to your household. Each of them have an impact in that. Let's close out with a word of prayer. Father, we thank you. We thank you for your Word. We thank you that these principles that we see on plaques and we fight for them in different ways, that they're really just life-giving truth. They teach us about your character.

Tim Lundy (40:43):
They shape our homes and our lives. Lord, I just pray. I pray that the simplicity of these commands would not be lost on us, that we would not quickly just write it off but rather really examine our hearts. Lord, I just fundamentally believe if we applied these, it would change so much about our households, about the way that we talk to each other, the way that we treat each other, about the things that keep us up at night, about the things that are taking the place frankly of you in the center of our hearts and lives. Lord, we thank you that you love us so much that even where we have failed, Christ's grace is more than enough. We thank you that your mercies are new every morning. And so today we have new mercy to be able to live in your truth. And so we praise you and thank you. In Christ's name. Amen.

Recorded in Los Gatos, California.
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Venture Christian Church
16845 Hicks Road
Los Gatos, California 95032